- Anna Weisend
- 11 Mar 2020
Recently there was a post on Facebook by Porsha Kimble that outlined a culmination of one of her adventures and it ended with “…I’m super proud of myself!! I am learning it’s ok to say that out loud.”
Pause and think about that.
When asked why she felt she had to learn to say it out loud, Porsha replied “I think for a long time me saying to myself ‘I’m proud of myself’ made me feel as though I was being arrogant or conceited. As I’ve grown and gotten old it’s not that. It’s what I call a ‘self-check reminder’ that it’s okay to be proud of achieving goals. A reminder to say out loud, you’re crushing it and getting things done.”
How many people have felt the same way? After all, there are many cultural norms that indicate we should be humble, we should refrain from bragging, or that pride is bad. Pride has even been ranked as one of the seven deadly sins.
Isn’t it a tad ironic in the age of the selfie and ‘personal brands’, we should still be cautious of publicly patting ourselves on the back? People are famous for being famous but we should shy away from letting people know we met our goals, or took a great risk, or came up with solutions for our own happiness?
It turns out that psychologists have been studying this. Leon F. Seltzer, Ph.D. believes that there is “healthy” pride and “unhealthy ” pride. Healthy pride is about self-worth, confidence built through effort and successes, the ability to celebrate in other’s successes, and based in the accuracy of their own abilities.
Healthy pride is NOT self-aggrandizement. Healthy pride is NOT egocentric. Healthy pride is NOT in believing that you are better than or “special”. Healthy pride is NOT aggressive against others.
It is ok to believe in your abilities. It is ok to celebrate your victories. It is ok to say it out loud. Do it for yourself so that you can build your confidence or so that when you aren’t victorious you have a history to draw from that says you had that “can do” attitude once and you can get it back. You can inspire others because if you did it, so can they. Being proud of yourself indicates that you care about how you take care of things or people or situations. It is also an indication of how you conduct yourself.
If you see that unhealthy pride creeping in, you can nip it in the bud. And you know if you don’t, someone else will happily do it for you!
Porsha feels that “As women, parents, or someone who is always ahead or leading I think we never take the time to allow ourselves to be proud of our accomplishments. When you are a constant giver you forget to reward yourself. A simple mantra reminder only helps soothe the soul.”
Here at CakePlay Inc., we agree. So much so that we would like to encourage you to come up with a list of 25 accomplishments and/or personal traits that you are proud of and share them with the world. They do not need to have anything to do with sugar art and baking. Anything, from any time in your life, that you are proud of.
Now, pat yourself on the back!